Finding and losing myself

Where sound and silence
fade
into one
there I find my being.

Where the world
disappears
and the shades are drawn over all movement
there I rest.

I am able to breathe,
composed
and finally be myself,
to hold the moment
with my eyes.

But then this muddled world of shapes
shakes me into a frenzy,
forgetful of all the layers of self,
from person to soul.

What is left of me,
after the energy thieves have stolen every ounce of my being?
Only scattered remnants,
Which only solitude can turn to mercury
and meld together, again.

But again this pressing engagement
splits and disperses the droplets,
And so continues the process
of finding and losing myself,
the game of hide and seek I play all alone.

The shutters of time,
opening and closing,
catch up to me
And again the gravity of the shifting sands
ever keeps me from reaching my essence.

And so I stagger through the desert,
Thirsty for meaning and peace
And just as I find running streams,
the raging sand storm dries them up.

I'm left hoping,
In the midst of the haze
each new hope blown through my fingers.
I walk in straight lines that betray me in circles.