Finding and forming the self


How is the self formed? Does it pre-exist like a seed in a pod, or do the winds of the world shape it? Or both? A paradox stares us down, for on one hand we need to be ourselves, but, on the other, we need to transcend ourselves too. All at once we need to look within to see who we truly are. We need to find our inner voice and release it to the world. We need to ignore tradition and sheepish acts. And, we need to challenge ourselves, question ourselves, overcome ourselves.

The scowls and taunts and laughs of the masses are the pins that prick holes into the seed. But those who utter them are also as mirrors for the self to know itself, to escape its contorted subjectivity and see itself from another angle.

That seed in the pod is not completely pure. Despite the casing around it, the world has seeped through its walls, tainting its very innocence. It can’t be left to fester in there, nor can it be thrown into the wind to be blown away.

Life is a struggle. Struggle is simultaneously problem and solution. We need to wrestle with ourselves, dress our wounds while we continue to bleed, find ourselves and forget ourselves, cherish ourselves and curse ourselves, accept and transcend, all at once like a circus clown juggling knives and fire and bouncing balls.

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