The self that can’t be judged
“I’m
the only being that exists because I can only directly perceive my own
consciousness.” That’s the argument for solipsism, which most people would deny,
of course. Despite the tightness of the logic, there’s something that just doesn’t
sit right with it. We naturally believe in other minds, even if we cannot
perceive them directly. But there is something about solipsism that does ring
true. It acknowledges the permanent privacy of our own inner worlds. And this
privacy is comforting because despite the
feeling that people can intrude into it, in fact, they can never set foot in
its elusive domain. Others might criticise
us or judge us or pigeonhole us based on our
dress, behaviour and mannerisms. But they do not know who we really are. I can
sometimes worry about what others think
of me. I’m surprised at this because since I was a teenager, I’ve been quite independent
minded. But part of me does care. I can find myself questioning myself about
how I fit in with others. I can take on others’ judgements
of me and even allow those attitudes to cause me to doubt myself and my
direction in life. But I have to remind myself: no one even knows me. The ideas
they have about me, are not even about me. Those ideas are a collection of ideas
collected from all over the place: books, movies, and imagined ideas about
other unknown people. Of course, we all live in this world together and should
care about the well-being of one another, but there’s another sense in which we
do not need to care about how we are perceived by one another. In this way, the
walls that guard our subjectivity are liberating.